Editor's Note: The author of this post requested, and was granted, anonymity for this article to protect the identity of his family members. When I was a child and having one of my many disagreements with my mother, a retort from her would often be, “Wait until you’re a parent. Then you’ll understand.” Since becoming a dad myself several years ago, I’ve been thinking about that phrase a lot. Like many contemporary dads, I am a different kind of parent than my father. Broadly speaking, you could say I’m more present than he was in my childhood. The conventional wisdom is that social and … [Read more...]
Absent Dad Teaches Parenting Lessons You’ll Never Forget
Many people grew up without fathers around. For some, it was an untimely death, others incarceration. I know of friends who had a father in the military. For me, I grew up with a father who couldn't and didn't live up to his responsibilities. I spent the majority of my life without my dad, by his choice. So, when people ask me to reflect on my father during this time of year, I get a little resentful. I still remember a second grade project I was required to complete. It was a Father's Day card. I told my teacher that I didn't have a father at home. The teacher said that didn't matter. I … [Read more...]
Study: Absent Fathers Make Life Harder for Daughters
A new national study backs the belief the relationship between a dad and his daughter is important not only now, but later in the daughter's life. The October study, by digital data collectors, Research Now Group Inc. finds that 75 percent of women, ages 18 to 34, said having a close relationship with dad is “very important” with 47 percent going as far as saying their father is “the most important person in their life.” A majority of women with a positive relationship with their father growing up said they were happy, far more than those who went their childhood with negative or no … [Read more...]
How My Absentee Father Has Influenced My Parenting
For the first time in 11 years, I read the novel, Things Fall Apart. As an English teacher, I honestly feel that each time you read a book, you see different things. Although it has always been a challenging read due to the spousal abuse, this time, I read this book in the mindset of a parent and husband. The protagonist Okonkwo is not the most liked of characters and a poor father at best. This is due in large part to his being influenced by his relationship with his father. In addition, his father is not much of a role model. Everything Okonkwo does is in response to how little he thought … [Read more...]