Hear that collective sigh? That's the sound of high school seniors — and their parents — finally finishing the often years-long college search process. Fortunately, my oldest daughter recently found the right “fit,” a buzzword guidance counselors emphasize for good reason. For many, though, the process can be quite stressful. Here are five big-picture college search tips from the trenches for you and your children. College search tips No. 1: Conduct an 'I-search' before research Long before visiting campuses, encourage your son or daughter to pay attention to what interests them. How do … [Read more...]
I am Groot: Teenagers, Trees, Parenting and Electronics
“I am Groot,” is what I should have said, but that’s his line. Instead I said it in my native tongue, and this time with feeling: “You’re being a jackass.” And he was. Still, calling my son names in a fit of anger hadn’t been on my Sunday morning itinerary. Rather, I had planned for it to open like every Sunday does, with Nina Simone playing over cups of coffee, me in an apron and something on the griddle dangerously close to burning. Plan B, apparently, was standing in the doorway of my sons’ shared bedroom, repeating myself in competition with electronics that they weren’t supposed … [Read more...]
Teen Daughter Approaches Crossroads of Adulthood, Childhood
It’s often described as a tightrope, but that’s not terribly accurate. There is no risk of falling off either side. This period of life, the immeasurable, undefinable, delicate space between childhood and young adulthood, is more akin to finding yourself in the middle of a meadow. It can be peaceful and pleasant but also foreboding. All depends on the direction of the wind and the light or absence thereof. The meadow in the midst of youth and growing up is a vast space between two distinctly different environments: to the left, the lush forest up ahead with flora and fauna but with less … [Read more...]
Why You Can’t Get Parenting Right No Matter How Long, Hard You Try
How many times have you heard practice makes perfect? About a gazillion – right. And I find it be true for the most part. Well, I might not get to perfect, but I get way, way better. But then, there’s parenting. Next week my oldest son, BR, will turn 14. Whoa – had a stop there for a moment. That still surprises me. Anyway, that means I will have been a parent for 122,640 hours. Way more than the 10,000-hour rule. You know 10,000-hour rule, right? In Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers, he determined it takes 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to become great at some high-level … [Read more...]
Now are the Chores of Our Discontent
The chairs in the family room are in constant use, their seats warm against the press of pants and careless give of sun-dried towels. There are two of these chairs, set just so to encourage casual conversation while still open to the glow of the fireplace, a request to the piano or whatever is sent from the kitchen. It is a cozy corner, softly lit by stylish lamps and stars of varying distance. The dogs dine there twice daily, the bar against the wall is visited somewhat more so. These chairs grow heavy beneath the weight of our day, and heavier still the following and again after that. … [Read more...]
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