My 5-year-old stares at me, not really comprehending what this means. Unless it’s candy or a shot to my balls, he doesn’t have much use for it. But my 11-year-old son, he knows exactly what it means and his face falls. “Dad …” he begins. “No,” I say. “Don’t dad me. Don’t even begin to think I’m changing this. Your mom and I are going to see a movie and your sister is babysitting.” “But …” “No buts.” He looks at me hard, and his lips go tight. But then he accepts it. My wife looks wonderful today. She smiles in a way that she did before we had children. It’s more carefree, … [Read more...]
Stay a Kid Forever By Never Filling Those Big Girl Shoes
I sit watching my daughter struggle to put her shoes on. Why must she always pick the most difficult shoes to put on when we are in a hurry? “I can do it myself, Daddy!” Yes, you can do it yourself, but it will take forever and once forever is finally over, I will be horribly late for my meeting at school. Just let me put the damn shoes on for you so we can get out of the house! “Take your time, dear," I say, "I know you can do it.” I continue to work on deep breathing. I continue reminding myself that this very moment will be forgotten in time and life will continue. I have … [Read more...]
‘Girl Dad’ Confessions: Ex-Stay-at-Home Father Reflects Beyond Hashtags
Even a few weeks after the helicopter crash in Los Angeles that killed basketball great Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna and seven others, the shock remains. As a parent of two teenagers, what reverberates most is the multi-generational losses of three different families. Based on the supportive messages that continue to flit across social media, fellow parents agree. The most viral hashtags, however, have celebrated the father-daughter relationship: #GirlDad and #GirlsDad. They resulted from Elle Duncan’s tearful ESPN report in which she recounted Bryant’s pride as a “Girl Dad.” When I … [Read more...]
Dads in Line Getting Coffee
I met a friend for coffee the other day. It’s something we try to do on a regular basis, which, apparently, means once every eight months. Our schedules have proven difficult to align, despite our living two miles apart, having kids at the same school, and working in similar creative fields. It takes half a year and two dozen texts to create 90 minutes of quality time at Starbucks, 15 of which are spent standing in line. This is the sum of our parts, a life defined by new math and the old habits we cannot help but cling to. This is a pattern in my life, and I’m not sure how I got here. … [Read more...]
Mixed Gender Sleepovers: Cause for Scandal or Celebration of Diversity
My oldest is now 10. Last year, or maybe it was two years ago, he went to a sleepover birthday party as kids do. At the time, I didn't think anything of the fact that he was the only boy on the invite list. After the party ended, I forgot it had even happened. I was at another party a few months ago where the topic was "that party with the boy sleeping over." The parents were sagely nodding to each other, relieved that one girl just went for the movie and didn’t sleep over. According to the group wisdom, her parents had done well. "Uh, yeah," I finally said. "That one boy there was my … [Read more...]
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