City Dads Group

Navigating Fatherhood Together

Listening with Curiosity Builds Relationships for Parents, Kids

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Being a good parent, at times, takes superhero skills. To help you develop your own, “The Relational Book for Parenting” authors Saliha Bava and Mark Greene will offer advice in this exclusive periodic series for City Dads Group. 

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We all need to confront the many damaging narratives about parenting. One of the most challenging is the relentless drumbeat of others telling us to “enjoy them while they’re little.” This implies parents are destined for increasing disconnection and conflict with our children as they approach their teen … [Read more...]

Filed Under: relationships, teens / tweens Tagged With: , , ,

Sibling Rivalry Overcome with a Future Gift from Your Children’s Past

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It was supposed to be a trouble-free paradise. My wife, two teen daughters, and I recently splurged on a family vacation. Their majority vote landed us at a swanky resort for a spa weekend. You would think two days of pampering services with names like “Espresso Mud Detox Wrap” would lead to familial bliss. You would be wrong. By the end of our second day, I could already feel the stress that had been massaged out of me surging back through my body. Why? My daughters could not stop bickering. For some reason their sibling rivalry was on steroids that weekend. I figured part of the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: relationships, siblings Tagged With: ,

Comparisons Between Children No. 1 Parenting Mistake to Avoid Making

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Ever heard a parent of a 3-month-old say, “My baby is just like me when I was that age”? Of course not. But when it comes to parents of teens, detailed comparisons and contrasts abound. Why do we do this? Probably because we remember the highlights of our teenhood so much better than our toddlerhood. I recently asked one of the wisest parents I know for her No. 1 parenting tip. Her reply? Stop all the comparisons! Don’t compare a child to yourself at his or her age; don’t compare a child to his or her siblings; don’t compare a child to relatives, friends, classmates, co-parents or anyone … [Read more...]

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Distant Father Not Product of His Times, Result of Lies, Deception

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Editor's Note: The author of this post requested, and was granted, anonymity for this article to protect the identity of his family members. When I was a child and having one of my many disagreements with my mother, a retort from her would often be, “Wait until you’re a parent. Then you’ll understand.” Since becoming a dad myself several years ago, I’ve been thinking about that phrase a lot. Like many contemporary dads, I am a different kind of parent than my father. Broadly speaking, you could say I’m more present than he was in my childhood. The conventional wisdom is that social and … [Read more...]

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I am Groot: Teenagers, Trees, Parenting and Electronics

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“I am Groot,” is what I should have said, but that’s his line. Instead I said it in my native tongue, and this time with feeling: “You’re being a jackass.” And he was. Still, calling my son names in a fit of anger hadn’t been on my Sunday morning itinerary. Rather, I had planned for it to open like every Sunday does, with Nina Simone playing over cups of coffee, me in an apron and something on the griddle dangerously close to burning. Plan B, apparently, was standing in the doorway of my sons’ shared bedroom, repeating myself in competition with electronics that they weren’t supposed … [Read more...]

Filed Under: growing up, relationships, technology, teens / tweens Tagged With: , ,