Editor's Note: The author of this post requested, and was granted, anonymity for this article to protect the identity of his family members. When I was a child and having one of my many disagreements with my mother, a retort from her would often be, “Wait until you’re a parent. Then you’ll understand.” Since becoming a dad myself several years ago, I’ve been thinking about that phrase a lot. Like many contemporary dads, I am a different kind of parent than my father. Broadly speaking, you could say I’m more present than he was in my childhood. The conventional wisdom is that social and … [Read more...]
I am Groot: Teenagers, Trees, Parenting and Electronics
“I am Groot,” is what I should have said, but that’s his line. Instead I said it in my native tongue, and this time with feeling: “You’re being a jackass.” And he was. Still, calling my son names in a fit of anger hadn’t been on my Sunday morning itinerary. Rather, I had planned for it to open like every Sunday does, with Nina Simone playing over cups of coffee, me in an apron and something on the griddle dangerously close to burning. Plan B, apparently, was standing in the doorway of my sons’ shared bedroom, repeating myself in competition with electronics that they weren’t supposed … [Read more...]
Friendship Worth Spanning Distance, Damning Expense, Braving Cold
Friendship: What is it? Where do we find it? How do we keep it? According to Facebook, a friend is someone we may have met for a minute, added to a list and left to the algorithm. According to Marc Antony in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, friends (like Romans and countrymen, respectively) tend to lend their ears and are often prone to peer pressure. According to my youngest son, friendship is a compass that points to where your heart is, regardless of time or distance. Sorry, Bill, but I’m with the kid on this one. “I’m not tired,” said that same kid, lying through his eyelids, … [Read more...]
Sexual Misconduct: Dads, It’s Time to Finally Fix This
Men — especially dads — have to change what we frown upon. We have to accept that sexual misconduct hurts us all, much like secondhand smoke affects the air we all breathe. It has been said that when women discuss a problem with men, they are often looking for emotional support, not help with a solution. But when it comes to the sexual misconduct issue ricocheting through our culture, that notion is mistaken. Women are doing their share to fix the issue by courageously raising more awareness, reporting more abuses, and demanding more consequences. It is time for more men to join the fight and … [Read more...]
Battling Hubris Part of Parents’ Job in Raising Good, Healthy Children
The CEO of my former employer loved the word "hubris." He’d warn against it in grand speeches designed to keep us hungry, innovative, humble and to ensure we would remain client-focused in the face of tremendous success and a steady stream of critical acclaim. People loved our company but, instead of embracing that love, he challenged us to keep the affection and admiration of others an arm’s length away. His thinking was that once you start believing you are great, you’ll focus less on the small details that made you great in the eyes of others and then -- poof -- you will no longer be … [Read more...]