I met a friend for coffee the other day. It’s something we try to do on a regular basis, which, apparently, means once every eight months. Our schedules have proven difficult to align, despite our living two miles apart, having kids at the same school, and working in similar creative fields. It takes half a year and two dozen texts to create 90 minutes of quality time at Starbucks, 15 of which are spent standing in line. This is the sum of our parts, a life defined by new math and the old habits we cannot help but cling to. This is a pattern in my life, and I’m not sure how I got here. … [Read more...]
Mixed Gender Sleepovers: Cause for Scandal or Celebration of Diversity
My oldest is now 10. Last year, or maybe it was two years ago, he went to a sleepover birthday party as kids do. At the time, I didn't think anything of the fact that he was the only boy on the invite list. After the party ended, I forgot it had even happened. I was at another party a few months ago where the topic was "that party with the boy sleeping over." The parents were sagely nodding to each other, relieved that one girl just went for the movie and didn’t sleep over. According to the group wisdom, her parents had done well. "Uh, yeah," I finally said. "That one boy there was my … [Read more...]
The Racism We Gift Our Children
My 13-year-old son, Yosef, is black. I’m white. Most times, we’re too busy to take notice of the difference. Never, though, have I felt a pastier shade of white than when I talk to my son about the anecdotes of racial divide that dot the national headlines on what recently seems to be a daily basis. When President Trump calls U.S. Rep. Elijah Cummings out in the context of Baltimore crime statistics and subpar housing conditions, Yosef looks to me to make sense of people calling our commander in chief a racist, asking in confusion, “They’re saying the President is racist. What?” After … [Read more...]
‘The Sex Talk’ and 6 Things Most Dads Get Wrong About It
It’s critical for dads to have the sex talk with their children early and to get it right. It’s not OK to leave the big talk to mom or to assume the teachers at school will take care of it. Think about it this way: the teenage brain is hard-wired to care about sex, so when you talk about it your teen will listen closely to anything you say. Don’t miss that opportunity! I’ve noticed a few things dads get wrong when they try to have a sex talk with their teenagers. Are you making any of these common mistakes? 1. Don’t Avoid Your Own Sex Life It can be awkward to talk to your teenager about … [Read more...]
Fathers Celebrated for Mountains of Worthwhile Life Advice
“Don’t be daft!” That’s one of the most memorable fatherly mantras from my childhood. It came courtesy of Jerry, the father of Tim, one of my best childhood buddies. I was lucky enough to grow up with about a dozen close friends, and Tim’s house was often our headquarters, thanks in part to his beloved father. At first, I didn’t know what “daft” meant. But since Jerry would usually bellow the words half-jokingly after some of our shenanigans, I learned it meant “foolish” or “silly.” Jerry died years ago, but his mantra returned recently as I packed for a trip to Folly Beach, S.C. That … [Read more...]
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