I'm generally open about being a transgender man even if most people assume I'm a cisgender man (meaning I was born male). I'm often seen as a gay man. This is fine with me since I identify as queer, but it confuses people when they learn I'm married to a woman. One situation where this confusion comes up, but is rarely discussed aloud, takes place when I am out alone with my son. On a good day, I'm 5-foot, 5-inches tall. My 22-month-old is the size of most 3-year-olds. Since I'm a work-at-home dad, I'm often the only parent people encounter when I take him to a class or the playground. … [Read more...]
Which Parenting Style? Why Not a Little of This, a Little of That
It’s about time to declare my parenting style because, apparently, that’s everyone’s business. I learned this through the “Parenting and Faith” Sunday school class at our church. Not that I'm that active in that class as I should be. Truthfully, I’m not active at all. I mean I don’t ever go. My wife goes now and again, but, right or wrong, I haven’t filed the class into the “must do” part of my brain. Besides, Micah 6:8 says, “What does the Lord require of you? To do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.” It doesn’t say anything about getting kids ready an hour before … [Read more...]
Hate Too Easy to Learn so Parents Must Teach Children Love Instead
My 5-year-old daughter and I had just buckled into the car, headed home after a morning playground adventure in Philadelphia, when the questions started flowing. After we go somewhere, I like to talk to her about what we just did and ask her about her favorite and least favorite parts. Call it an exit interview of sorts that helps me learn more about who she is becoming and help me be a better parent for her. I began with the highlight of the day and worked my way toward what she didn't enjoy, which is when she gleefully screamed "NOTHING!" and pumped her arms into the air. Then there … [Read more...]
The Price of Raising a Teenage Introvert
At any given moment, my son is speaking. He is standing near my desk, riding in the car, or running a trail beside me, the conversation free and flowing. The topic may be anything: the play-by-play of some random video game or a string of vignettes from his school day tied together by lazy shrugs and honest humor. His delivery is generally thoughtful and deliberate, on point, and with frequent stops for laughter. He is intelligent, funny, kind, and perceptive. His sarcasm game is next level stuff. I could listen to him for hours, and oftentimes I do. In fact, I pay him for it. Note, the … [Read more...]
Judging Other Parents Brings Smug Satisfaction, Regret
There was a time not so long ago, let’s just call that time "yesterday," when I would have judged you. Quietly. To myself in the moment we two shared without your knowledge but not in nearly as creepy a way as that sounds. I would be again judging you later, to my wife that evening after the kids were in bed and I’d become a tad punch-drunk thanks to the lateness of the hour. I’d crack wise and witty about your laziness, about how you’d rather keep your toddler distracted than have to actually engage and be present as a mom, about how your kid is growing up perfectly suited to the modern … [Read more...]
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