What is the hardest part of parenting? For many, the answer is smack-down clear: discipline. Why? In part because we live in a stew of philosophies ranging from attachment to free-range parenting, all of which merely season the stock of how we were disciplined (or not disciplined) by our own parents. As the father of two daughters, I have wrestled with discipline issues —especially sibling rivalry — for many years. My struggle peaked a few years ago when I caught myself in a parental fantasy at an unlikely place: a World Wresting Entertainment show. (Some call it “fake wrestling,” but … [Read more...]
Church: Family Routine, Rut or Foundation for a Beautiful Future
I am paying attention although sometimes that just means I am aware of my inattention. Words float around in the high space above. Sunlight through stained glass illuminates the pews across from us. The scent of perfumed parishioners and powdered babies mingles with incense past and, oddly, Old Spice. All is familiar, routine. The words drop from above, and I focus on them, or I try to. “… let us give thanks to the Lord.” Two boys of the same age stand in the row with me, my wife beyond them. I look down at the closest one as he says, “It is right and just.” He doesn’t just mumble … [Read more...]
Parental Growth Chart Would Celebrate Milestones in Maturity, Wisdom
Remember when you learned about a baby’s “growth chart”? The first time the pediatrician measures your tiny child’s weight, length and head circumference can be stressful. It can also be confusing because it’s one of the few times when the 50th percentile — or perfectly average growth relative to other babies of the same age — is the most desirable score. Our firstborn had colic, so my wife and I developed an intense relationship with our pediatrician. Fortunately, he had a great sense of humor. During one of our “growth chart” appointments, we expressed concern that our daughter’s head was … [Read more...]
Unscheduled Summer Brings Some Shame, Some Boredom, Much Joy
What are my kids doing this summer? Nothing. That’s right, nothing. We’ve signed them up for zero camps, have scheduled no play dates and, alas, have no true idea of how we might occupy four kids between the ages of 5 and 12 over the upcoming school-less months. Yes, I’ve taken note of your full summer calendars. I hear your days will be packed with baseball camp, fishing camp, STEM camp, robotics camp, the YMCA day school, soccer camp, your week at Disney and the photography class you’ve registered for. I must say, I’m a bit jealous of the action-packed days you have ahead. I’m … [Read more...]
Have You Become Your Mother (or Father)? A Spring Break Tornado Story
When your 15-year-old is on spring break with another family for a week, the last click-bait you want to see on your phone is “Tornado Watch from Florida to South Carolina.” What are the odds, I fretted, as my thumbs speed-texted “U ok? Just heard about tornado watch for sarasota?” My daughter replied like King Kong casually batting away a helicopter parent: “yeah we r good.” Despite her nonchalance, shortly after her return home she admitted that my message had, in fact, alerted them to a coming storm, much to her amazement. Begrudgingly, she gave me credit for helping them take … [Read more...]
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