The words of recently deceased, Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison had a huge impact on my life —first as a student, then as a parent. In graduate school, much of my research focused on her powerful novels — especially Beloved — that explored slavery and its aftermath. Later, as a stay-at-home dad, I saw her appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show, and once again her words hit me hard. During that appearance, Morrison captured the nature of a parent's unconditional love: “It’s interesting to see when a kid walks in a room, your child or anybody else’s child, does your face light up? That’s … [Read more...]
Little Library Can Have a Big Impact on Your Neighborhood
Think back to your childhood neighborhood. Beyond the memories of family and friends, what is your warmest recollection about the neighborhood itself? I was lucky enough to grow up in a neighborhood that featured two elderly women called “the Candy Lady” and “the Sucker Lady.” In elementary school, my buddies and I learned that they lived a couple of blocks away, next door to each other. Near their back doors they kept a bowl of wrapped candy and suckers, respectively, for kids to enjoy. Each time we rode our bikes to their houses, we couldn’t believe the treats were there again, like a … [Read more...]
First Job for Teens Brings Many Benefits Beyond Paycheck
onr “I feel important.” That was my younger daughter’s surprising answer to a mundane question. I had been wondering why she liked her job as a hostess at a busy restaurant so much, especially since it was her first “real” job as a teenager beyond watching kids or walking dogs. Frankly, I had expected the job would not appeal to her. I was wrong. But shortly after she announced this surge of self-esteem, I remembered my own first real job as a teenager beyond mowing lawns or shoveling snow. My employment history began one summer at a grocery store in my hometown where I bagged … [Read more...]
Turn ‘Disorders’ into Gifts that Create Stronger Children, Parents
I remember sitting in my therapist’s office after I learned I was going to be a father. I had overwhelming feelings of fear, wonder, powerlessness, joy, fearfulness, gratitude and defensiveness. As I discussed these emotions with my therapist, I couldn’t help but think about the struggles the men in my life have had being fathers. Alcoholism. Sex addiction. Unfaithfulness. Abuse. Anger. Divorce. Brokenness. The examples I had around me as fathers were men who said things but didn’t follow through. They meant well but their actions showed something different. My therapist then shared … [Read more...]
Fathers Celebrated for Mountains of Worthwhile Life Advice
“Don’t be daft!” That’s one of the most memorable fatherly mantras from my childhood. It came courtesy of Jerry, the father of Tim, one of my best childhood buddies. I was lucky enough to grow up with about a dozen close friends, and Tim’s house was often our headquarters, thanks in part to his beloved father. At first, I didn’t know what “daft” meant. But since Jerry would usually bellow the words half-jokingly after some of our shenanigans, I learned it meant “foolish” or “silly.” Jerry died years ago, but his mantra returned recently as I packed for a trip to Folly Beach, S.C. That … [Read more...]
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