“Dad, tell that story again about the time I stabbed you.” My younger teen daughter, Lindsay, makes this request every few months or so with a giggle. And while she’s the villain of the story, it also features one of my not-so-flattering moments as a parent — one of those many bloopers that all families experience when things don’t go as planned. At age 4, Lindsay attended a summer art class that she absolutely loved. When my older daughter, Lauren, and I went to pick her up from class one day, only Lindsay and the teacher remained. She was not quite finished with her art … [Read more...]
Validate Teen Girls’ Views Even When You’re Not Seeing Eye to Eye
Got teen daughters? If so, then you know you don’t always see eye to eye with them. In fact, sometimes it feels more like an eye for an eye. During those times, my coping mechanism of choice is to read, read and read some more in hopes of finding solutions — or at least a bit of relief. My latest dose of support came from Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls, a new book by Lisa Damour. The book has many nuggets of wisdom, but one in particular hit me hard: the need for parents to constantly strive to validate teen girls' perspectives, even though that … [Read more...]
Early Days with Baby for Memory Making, Not Perfect Parenting
Your daughter is precious and beautiful, little brother, and, I’m sure, the apple of your eye even after only a few hours of existence. I’m so happy for you and your lovely wife. And, without sounding like our dad, I’m damn proud of you, too. While I look at your beaming smiles and the picture of her in that tiny Chicago Bears jersey, I can’t help but think about the first days of each of my kids’ lives. The truth is, though, there isn’t much to reflect upon. You see, I just can’t seem to remember much of anything about any one of my five kids’ early days. My memories of each, regrettably, … [Read more...]
Anger Management for Parents: Prepare for Before, During and After
Think back to your childhood. Do you remember your father’s (or mother’s) angriest moment as a parent? Chances are it’s replaying in your mind right now in vivid detail. That’s because raw anger, while sometimes useful for action, often results in dramatic, destructive and regrettable parenting. As a father of teenagers, I’ve had my share of parenting moments, usually involving a disciplinary situation, when I could have used some intervention. But I’ve also learned a few things about anger management along the way. My first tip would be to think of parental anger as a three-stage process: … [Read more...]
Not Collapsing into Other’s Emotions Shows, Builds Courage in Kids
EDITOR’S NOTE: Being a good parent at times takes superhero skills. To help you develop your own, “The Relational Book for Parenting” authors Saliha Bava and Mark Greene offer suggestions from their book. Go here to read more in this exclusive periodic series for City Dads Group. We previously wrote about the power of listening with curiosity. As we get into additional relationship super powers, we'll refer back to previous ones and show how all interconnect and interrelate. Growing these relationship super powers, what we sometimes call our “relational intelligence,” provides us with a web … [Read more...]
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