If a near-death experience goes unnoticed, did it even happen? Yes, I can confirm, and for that we should always be grateful. I can explain. Recently, as I drove around my oldest daughter’s college campus, my mind returned to one of the best — but what could have been one of the worst — days of my life. It was just over 20 years ago, a few years before my wife and I started a family and I became a stay-at-home dad. At the time, I was excited about my new job teaching English at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Another comfort I enjoyed that day was our new leased car: a … [Read more...]
‘I Love You’ — A Triumph for Parents of Child with Asperger’s
One of the first signs of autism I noticed in our son, Harry, occurred near the end of his year in kindergarten. Almost overnight, he began having difficulty making eye contact with me. As we went through the diagnosis process and I learned more about autism and Asperger's syndrome (the spot on the spectrum Harry seems to be orbiting), I noticed Harry only showed his mom and I affection while being a ”cuddly hamster.” What’s a cuddly hamster? It's when Harry talks in a very high nasal voice using squeaks and baby talk ("wuv" instead of love, "da-da" instead of dad, etc). Enter Avengers: … [Read more...]
Rules for Children May be Too Absolute for All Situations
Broadly speaking, it's good we teach kids a few basics of safety. Not every parent is equipped to responsibly handle potentially dangerous situations. So we create very general guidelines that apply to most. That's cool. And kids should be learning about things like unwanted touches from others. Though there was a discussion at the preschool drop-off about getting everybody onboard with using the same body part names as used in the school lessons. But we all handle these things a little differently. However, when the school sent home the "Never-Never Rules" that they'll be studying soon … [Read more...]
Jogging Helps This Father Manage Busy Parenting Life on the Run
Jogging for a good, hard 35 minutes around my neighborhood in southeastern Jerusalem is no different than dropping acid except for the lack of hallucinations, flashbacks and induced schizophrenia. Running simplifies life as it clarifies thought, dousing everyday trivialities in strong, bright colors whose pleasing afterglow continues for hours. There’s not much more to jogging than putting one foot after the other, heel-toe, heel-toe. But these steps, run in a pair of worn-out L.A. Gear sneakers, create the mental callouses I need to weather life’s little tempests. When I begin my run, … [Read more...]
Turn ‘Disorders’ into Gifts that Create Stronger Children, Parents
I remember sitting in my therapist’s office after I learned I was going to be a father. I had overwhelming feelings of fear, wonder, powerlessness, joy, fearfulness, gratitude and defensiveness. As I discussed these emotions with my therapist, I couldn’t help but think about the struggles the men in my life have had being fathers. Alcoholism. Sex addiction. Unfaithfulness. Abuse. Anger. Divorce. Brokenness. The examples I had around me as fathers were men who said things but didn’t follow through. They meant well but their actions showed something different. My therapist then shared … [Read more...]
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