The distance between them is a mix of years and meters, measures in degrees of space and sound and time. Two boys joined at the bloodline, bound by fate and floor plans, my sons have shared a bedroom from the beginning, their bunked barracks always a common ground. That changed last week. For the first time ever, the boys are each in their own room. They believe they have gained freedom and independence, which is true. But I cannot help fear a paradise lost in nightly confidants and the whispers between them. Also, a place for potential guests should any care to visit. This change in the … [Read more...]
Endings in Parenting Story Often More Bittersweet, Sad than Happy
I’m older now. I sense finality more. Last ballgames, the last time they need your help on the sledding hill or on their bikes or getting dressed or tying shoes.
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Do you know Shel Silverstein? It doesn’t matter much, a poet – any artist, really - is only showing you what you already know. Does this line sound familiar? “Once there was a tree … and she loved a boy.” Yes, The Giving Tree. I have a weird and long history with his work. I first encountered him in my youth in the 1970s in Playboy magazine, which, at the time I was reading for the … [Read more...]At-Home Parent Promise Kept, Struggle to Let Them Go Begins
"No," I say. "He's not ready." At the bus stop, my wife shakes her head and sighs. She is disagreeing with me and showing her exasperation. She's a great multitasker. My fifth grader, Wyatt, and my youngest son, Oliver, adjust their backpacks. "It's my call," I say. "He's ready," she counters. "I'm Dad. I've been here since the beginning. I was the one that quit my job to stay home with the kids. It's my call." That should count for something. That should give me the absolute final decision about whether my son is ready for kindergarten or not. I say he's not. My wife … [Read more...]
Adulthood: What is It?
It is late. Everyone went to bed a long time ago, and I am two hours into one beer. The house is dark, save a scattering of candles and the glow of outdoor holiday lighting spread upon windowpanes that will never frost. I am wide awake, thoughts and sugar dancing in my head. My uncertainty even more so. It is December, and I am stuck between a Netflix and a hard place, each episode blending into the next like so many years, skipping intros and pausing just to pee. Each new chapter the last before bed, another deadline declined beneath the comfort of just sitting still. Everything is … [Read more...]
Backyard Baseball Field Fading Fast, Memories Staying Strong
I know where it is. I see it pretty frequently, but, unless you knew it was there, you’d probably miss it. I picked it up, rescued it really, from the lawn mower a couple of years back and put it in a fairly strange place. It was hiding in the tall grass, all the way back in the yard, just this side of the home-run fence. It was what we always called a “game ball” to differentiate it from a “practice ball.” Game balls come off the bat hotter than the smooshy practice balls, so it was worthy of a rescue. If you’ve ever been around wooden fences, you know that sometimes the posts begin to … [Read more...]
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