My oldest son turns 15 this week, which has plenty of implications regarding his teen spirit, but also on my run as a father. I turned 47 a couple of months ago, which, if you carry the one, means I have been a dad for nearly a third of my life. It’s a funny thing, having built my writing career waxing melancholy on the always-closing, finger-smudged window of childhood, and the tenderness thereof, to now engage in conversations with a son nearly as tall as me, and a voice just as deep. His little brother isn’t far behind him. I admit that, in terms of monitoring milestones — the last … [Read more...]
I am Groot: Teenagers, Trees, Parenting and Electronics
“I am Groot,” is what I should have said, but that’s his line. Instead I said it in my native tongue, and this time with feeling: “You’re being a jackass.” And he was. Still, calling my son names in a fit of anger hadn’t been on my Sunday morning itinerary. Rather, I had planned for it to open like every Sunday does, with Nina Simone playing over cups of coffee, me in an apron and something on the griddle dangerously close to burning. Plan B, apparently, was standing in the doorway of my sons’ shared bedroom, repeating myself in competition with electronics that they weren’t supposed … [Read more...]
Teen Daughter Approaches Crossroads of Adulthood, Childhood
It’s often described as a tightrope, but that’s not terribly accurate. There is no risk of falling off either side. This period of life, the immeasurable, undefinable, delicate space between childhood and young adulthood, is more akin to finding yourself in the middle of a meadow. It can be peaceful and pleasant but also foreboding. All depends on the direction of the wind and the light or absence thereof. The meadow in the midst of youth and growing up is a vast space between two distinctly different environments: to the left, the lush forest up ahead with flora and fauna but with less … [Read more...]
Why You Can’t Get Parenting Right No Matter How Long, Hard You Try
How many times have you heard practice makes perfect? About a gazillion – right. And I find it be true for the most part. Well, I might not get to perfect, but I get way, way better. But then, there’s parenting. Next week my oldest son, BR, will turn 14. Whoa – had a stop there for a moment. That still surprises me. Anyway, that means I will have been a parent for 122,640 hours. Way more than the 10,000-hour rule. You know 10,000-hour rule, right? In Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers, he determined it takes 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to become great at some high-level … [Read more...]
Shoes of a Child Take Many Steps on Guided Journey Toward Adulthood
I found myself looking at this pair of shoes left in front of the sink in our bathroom last week, and I had an awful moment of enlightenment -- one of those moments when a dad is forced to realize his kids are growing up. Those shoes fit snugly on the feet of my 12-year-old son. As I stood there looking at them, I could almost see him standing there looking into the mirror. I could almost see him doing any number of the routine mundane tasks he does standing in that spot, that spot now marked by his very empty shoes. Before I knew it I was imagining him doing other tasks in front of that … [Read more...]
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