“Come here,” I said. “You need to see this.” My oldest boy walked toward me, his hands bright and swollen in mismatched oven gloves, one of which complimented the apron. He knew what it was that he needed to see, or at least the gist of it. I had been calling him to my side of the kitchen island for the better part of an hour, skipping from video to video, Twitter to Facebook and back again. “Watch this one,” I said. This one featured a man twisted as a pretzel. He was stale, salty and, apparently, wanting for beer. My son watched in silence for a moment, the words screaming … [Read more...]
“Oh, He’s a Girl.” Talking to Kids About Gender Experience, Identity
I thought about gender all day long during one period of my life. It was all-consuming. This is not how most people experience gender but for me, it kept me up at night. That’s because I’m transgender and, prior to my transition, I presented in a very gender-ambiguous way. People saw me as a man or a woman depending on many factors such as context, social roles, and the person’s own viewpoint. In my experience, gender is an interaction and not just a self-identity. Two deli clerks drove this last point home one day. While I waited at the counter for my sandwich, one clerk asked the … [Read more...]
In the Hair Chalk Game, the Carnival’s King is a Bald Dad
When I volunteer for the annual school carnival, I usually get to run the bounce house. That’s where the action happens. I wear a black T-shirt and tell parents the bounce house is "for kids only," although I understand their desire to climb in. Bounce houses are awesome. That's the kind of job dads normally do when they volunteer. But sometimes, when you're a dad named Shannon and the new president of the PTA doesn’t know you yet, you get a job that would normally go to a mom. That’s how I found myself, a bald middle-aged man, running the hair chalk station. My first customer, the … [Read more...]
Playground Dads Deserve Understanding, Respect — not Suspicion
Dear Playground Patron of the Adult Persuasion, The playground at our local park remains a really great yet intimidating place for fathers like me. It’s a place where we get to have loud, crazy fun with our kids but it is often where we encounter frustratingly frequent reminders of how much gender roles and stereotypes about men and dads are entrenched in society. To help you and all those of us who watch over our children (or others' children) at these public spaces, I put together a guide so you can understand what modern dads are thinking and experiencing. This guide could have been … [Read more...]
#MeToo Parenting: How Moms, Dads Can Make a Difference for All Kids
The #MeToo movement has been a game-changer in the world of entertainment, politics and business. But how can parents make it one in everyday life while raising children? And how can men participate without being accused of the dreaded "mansplaining" or fear of causing more harm than good, no matter their intentions. On the latest Modern Dads Podcast, guest host Whit Honea speaks with two powerful voices on parents’ roles in the #MeToo movement: Karen Walrond and Mike Reynolds. + Listen to our #MeToo parenting podcast + Walrond is an author, photographer, speaker and coach. The Houston … [Read more...]
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