If some gender stereotypes seem cartoonish by today's standards, is there a better way to discuss them than in animated video? That exactly what our own Whit Honea, a Los Angeles City Dads Group member, does in a recent piece for The Atlantic online magazine. Honea narrates "Outdated Gender Stereotypes Are ‘Very Much Alive,’" a three-minute essay on his family's experience with the assigning of old-fashioned gender roles in the modern world. The video is part of Home School, an animated series about parenting produced by The Atlantic. Previous episodes tackled issues such as … [Read more...]
Curiosity: Parents Need to Nurture It in Today’s Wired Children
“So is every day a sunny day?” That is the question that stumped my father several decades ago when I took my first airplane flight as a child. Once we ascended through the dark gray clouds, I was stunned that the sunny blue sky reappeared in all its glory. My concrete-over-abstract brain at the time thought a gray sky meant the absence of the sun, not just its obstruction. Hence my question. “Well,” my father replied, “I guess you could say that.” Little did I know that by welcoming my question and exploring its meaning through a series of follow-up questions, he fostered my … [Read more...]
Mental Health, Masculinity, Hearings and Cookies
“Come here,” I said. “You need to see this.” My oldest boy walked toward me, his hands bright and swollen in mismatched oven gloves, one of which complimented the apron. He knew what it was that he needed to see, or at least the gist of it. I had been calling him to my side of the kitchen island for the better part of an hour, skipping from video to video, Twitter to Facebook and back again. “Watch this one,” I said. This one featured a man twisted as a pretzel. He was stale, salty and, apparently, wanting for beer. My son watched in silence for a moment, the words screaming … [Read more...]
“Oh, He’s a Girl.” Talking to Kids About Gender Experience, Identity
I thought about gender all day long during one period of my life. It was all-consuming. This is not how most people experience gender but for me, it kept me up at night. That’s because I’m transgender and, prior to my transition, I presented in a very gender-ambiguous way. People saw me as a man or a woman depending on many factors such as context, social roles, and the person’s own viewpoint. In my experience, gender is an interaction and not just a self-identity. Two deli clerks drove this last point home one day. While I waited at the counter for my sandwich, one clerk asked the … [Read more...]
In the Hair Chalk Game, the Carnival’s King is a Bald Dad
When I volunteer for the annual school carnival, I usually get to run the bounce house. That’s where the action happens. I wear a black T-shirt and tell parents the bounce house is "for kids only," although I understand their desire to climb in. Bounce houses are awesome. That's the kind of job dads normally do when they volunteer. But sometimes, when you're a dad named Shannon and the new president of the PTA doesn’t know you yet, you get a job that would normally go to a mom. That’s how I found myself, a bald middle-aged man, running the hair chalk station. My first customer, the … [Read more...]
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