Back-to-school time brings about a plethora of emotions in children: excitement, anxiety, anticipation, fear, among countless others. Sometimes they bring those emotions home with them, or in the case of my son, Nolan, wear them on their sleeve. Those are just some of the stuff, tangible and intangible, your kid will bring home from school, along with: Germs Your school-aged kids are to blame for any family illness the majority of the time. They bring countless germs home and, unlike their toys, your kids are kind enough to share them with you and the rest of the family, especially … [Read more...]
Summer is Dead, Long Live Summer: A Back-to-School Story
According to Facebook, we are now entering the most wonderful time of the year. Soon, the entire social platform will be virtually overrun with endless photos featuring the hottest trends in back-to-school fashion, unstained and firmly pressed beneath the forced smiles of freshly scrubbed children. Next up: Pumpkin Spice Lattes. The parents, however, are not forcing anything. The reaction shots of ecstatic moms and triumphant dads celebrating the return of academia are becoming increasingly popular. School is back from summer vacation, and the carpool is a small price to pay for the end of … [Read more...]
Explaining Evolution, Creation to Little Children is a Science, Takes Faith
Science and religion are on a collision course in my household. Religion. Science. Are they independent or intertwined? How exactly do you explain the confluence of the two subjects to a 6-year-old, a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old, especially when they’re the ones who bring it up? Naturally, I explained the evolution/creation issue as well as I could, thoroughly confusing my kids in the process. The screenplay goes thusly: Scene: A father and his three kids are driving to a park in a late model SUV SIX YEAR OLD: Hey Dad, I have a question. Who were the first people? DAD: Well, … [Read more...]
In the Hair Chalk Game, the Carnival’s King is a Bald Dad
When I volunteer for the annual school carnival, I usually get to run the bounce house. That’s where the action happens. I wear a black T-shirt and tell parents the bounce house is "for kids only," although I understand their desire to climb in. Bounce houses are awesome. That's the kind of job dads normally do when they volunteer. But sometimes, when you're a dad named Shannon and the new president of the PTA doesn’t know you yet, you get a job that would normally go to a mom. That’s how I found myself, a bald middle-aged man, running the hair chalk station. My first customer, the … [Read more...]
Kindergarten Graduation Ceremonies: We Don’t Get It, Either
My two oldest kids didn’t have kindergarten graduation but I’ve noticed it’s that time of year again and several schools around us are doing so. Since this curious ceremony has eluded me my entire life, I’ve been wondering what exactly goes on at a kindergarten graduation. Are there actual caps and gowns? Or just kids wandering around wearing ball caps and dresses? Do the kids write things on top of their graduation hats like high school and college graduates do? Things like, “The real world starts now,” “Party time!” or “NAPS ARE DEAD TO ME!” Is there a valedictorian? Is there one … [Read more...]
- 1
- 2
- 3
- …
- 8
- Next Page »