Think back to your childhood. Do you remember your father’s (or mother’s) angriest moment as a parent? Chances are it’s replaying in your mind right now in vivid detail. That’s because raw anger, while sometimes useful for action, often results in dramatic, destructive and regrettable parenting. As a father of teenagers, I’ve had my share of parenting moments, usually involving a disciplinary situation, when I could have used some intervention. But I’ve also learned a few things about anger management along the way. My first tip would be to think of parental anger as a three-stage process: … [Read more...]
About Vincent O'Keefe
Balanced Worldview in Children Helps Them Cope, Understand
"Everybody’s crazy, drive safely.” That’s the mantra of my mother I remember best from my teenhood. Granted, her negative, imbalanced worldview was simply a way to contain her anxiety as I began to drive. Her words returned to me recently as my children increasingly navigate the internet, originally dubbed the “information superhighway.” Like most parents, my wife and I implemented age-appropriate internet restrictions as our children grew. But we learned that as children age, they need to develop the same critical thinking skills adults use when wading through the sea of clickbait … [Read more...]
Parent Wrestles with His Discipline ‘Finishing Move’
What is the hardest part of parenting? For many, the answer is smack-down clear: discipline. Why? In part because we live in a stew of philosophies ranging from attachment to free-range parenting, all of which merely season the stock of how we were disciplined (or not disciplined) by our own parents. As the father of two daughters, I have wrestled with discipline issues —especially sibling rivalry — for many years. My struggle peaked a few years ago when I caught myself in a parental fantasy at an unlikely place: a World Wresting Entertainment show. (Some call it “fake wrestling,” but … [Read more...]
Curiosity: Parents Need to Nurture It in Today’s Wired Children
“So is every day a sunny day?” That is the question that stumped my father several decades ago when I took my first airplane flight as a child. Once we ascended through the dark gray clouds, I was stunned that the sunny blue sky reappeared in all its glory. My concrete-over-abstract brain at the time thought a gray sky meant the absence of the sun, not just its obstruction. Hence my question. “Well,” my father replied, “I guess you could say that.” Little did I know that by welcoming my question and exploring its meaning through a series of follow-up questions, he fostered my … [Read more...]
Help Children Combat Selfie Culture Through Volunteer Work
Do you ever get tired of parenting in our “selfie” culture? While many recent self-esteem movements have nurtured children’s healthy development, it seems other cultural trends have fostered their self-absorption. (We could begin with the coinage of the word “selfie” and its widespread practice on social media.) So how can parents counteract our culture’s ongoing attack on empathy? There are many strategies, but two have been most powerful for our family: When the children are young, practice empathy in the home. As children age, find ways to practice empathy outside the home — … [Read more...]
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