When your 15-year-old is on spring break with another family for a week, the last click-bait you want to see on your phone is “Tornado Watch from Florida to South Carolina.” What are the odds, I fretted, as my thumbs speed-texted “U ok? Just heard about tornado watch for sarasota?” My daughter replied like King Kong casually batting away a helicopter parent: “yeah we r good.” Despite her nonchalance, shortly after her return home she admitted that my message had, in fact, alerted them to a coming storm, much to her amazement. Begrudgingly, she gave me credit for helping them take … [Read more...]
About Vincent O'Keefe
Raising Teen Daughters, Defining Boundaries in the #MeToo Era
The stories are everywhere — women (and a few men) speaking their truth to abusive male power as the #MeToo movement rolls on. As the parent of two teen daughters, I am glad much light and sound are finally being shed on this topic. But it remains challenging to talk about at home in ways that balance how to promote healthy romantic relationships and avoid toxic ones. The one word I keep coming back to? Boundaries. As my wife and I discuss with our daughters the ongoing media stories about sexual misconduct, we try to focus on the need for self-boundaries — e.g., physical, emotional and … [Read more...]
Bipartisan Parenting: Turning Presidential Racism into Teachable Moment
On the same day President Trump reportedly said “s---hole” countries in Africa were inferior sources for future American immigrants, my 12th-grade daughter was starting to read Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness in English class. The juxtaposition was too much.Conrad’s British novel indicts the racism of European imperialism in Africa in the late 1800s, specifically during the ivory trade. Ironically, however, many readers consider the novel a racist text because of the way it backgrounds Africa, stereotypes the “primitive” natives, and treats the whole continent as a blank slate for the white … [Read more...]
Learning to Keep Your Children Motivated at School Critical
Around the time children reach middle school (or certainly by high school), they often encounter an academic subject they do not like. Whether it’s English, history, science or math, they will find the class boring, meaningless or irrelevant to their lives — no matter how much they love learning in general. Then parents have to confront the inevitable question: “Why do we need to learn this?” In my experience, there are several layers to answering this question. The surface, knee-jerk, I’m-very-busy response involves a stream of words like “because the school requires it / that’s the way it … [Read more...]
Sexual Misconduct: Dads, It’s Time to Finally Fix This
Men — especially dads — have to change what we frown upon. We have to accept that sexual misconduct hurts us all, much like secondhand smoke affects the air we all breathe. It has been said that when women discuss a problem with men, they are often looking for emotional support, not help with a solution. But when it comes to the sexual misconduct issue ricocheting through our culture, that notion is mistaken. Women are doing their share to fix the issue by courageously raising more awareness, reporting more abuses, and demanding more consequences. It is time for more men to join the fight and … [Read more...]
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