So much of my parenting style centers on a delicate balance of fact versus fiction when explaining concepts, ideas, thoughts, feelings – just about anything – to my children. Example 1: “Dad, why is Mommy sad?” Fact: Daddy was a big jerk to Mommy after she had a tough day at the office. Fiction: “Mommy’s not sad, sweetie, just tired today.” Example 2: “Dad, why is my teacher so mean?” Fact: Ms. Smith is a lonely, unhappy soul whose only friends are her 12 cats. Fiction: “Ms. Smith isn’t mean. Like her or not, she’s the boss in class so you must figure out how to work with … [Read more...]
Happiness or Success? We Must Help Kids Choose for Themselves
A few weeks ago, my 14-year-old son, Yosef, had a decision to make. Would his fall sport of choice be football or cross country? While insignificant compared to the major world issues engulfing the news each night, this choice was important to him. Yosef was entering a new high school where roster spots on any other athletic team would be nearly impossible to come by. As the season drew nearer, my wife and I detected Yosef’s self-induced pressure to make a fall sports pick was mounting. My son understood his mother and I would support any decision. I’m sure my son also understood his … [Read more...]
Are Today’s Kids Patient, Determined Enough for Black Lives to Matter?
George Floyd died at the hands of police officers just over two month ago. Breonna Taylor was shot and killed in March. Justice in each case moves slowly, if at all. Significant racial progress, I say out loud during a recent newscast, is taking a long, long time. My son, who is Black, sits next to me as I lament. He sighs and looks up from his phone, “Yeah, actually I had forgotten about the Black Lives Matter stuff until I saw the NBA and MLB players kneeling on Opening Day.” His gaze retreats back to his phone. I do not reply. I just sit, quietly frustrated. His comment made … [Read more...]
Son Asks Dad: Should I Kneel for the National Anthem?
My oldest started high school football practice recently, but we have talked more about his team’s pregame routine than touchdowns or tackles. Instead of X’s and O’s, Yosef and I are commiserating over whether he will kneel or stand during the national anthem. I wonder if other dads of third-string placekickers are spending time doing the same this summer. Former NFL star Colin Kaepernick, who cost himself millions of dollars and a promising football career after kneeling during the anthem, has been back in the news in recent weeks. And with the ongoing protests and marches in reaction to … [Read more...]
Work from Home Option May Be Better to Fight for than Paternity Leave
In preparing for the arrival of his first child, my brother-in-law mentioned that he planned to take advantage his company’s paternity leave program for the first six weeks of his infant’s life. “That’s great,” I assured him. Then I suggested an alternative. “I’d take a couple of days at first and some more time when your baby is doing more – like in six months, ” I said. My brother-in-law was dumbfounded, likely the same reaction you might be having as you think, Is this dad really saying paternity leave is shortsighted? I said this because I’ve come to realize this: Paternity … [Read more...]
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