I thought about gender all day long during one period of my life. It was all-consuming. This is not how most people experience gender but for me, it kept me up at night. That’s because I’m transgender and, prior to my transition, I presented in a very gender-ambiguous way. People saw me as a man or a woman depending on many factors such as context, social roles, and the person’s own viewpoint. In my experience, gender is an interaction and not just a self-identity. Two deli clerks drove this last point home one day. While I waited at the counter for my sandwich, one clerk asked the … [Read more...]
About Robbie Samuels
LGBTQ Pride Through Raising Strong, Resilient ‘Queerspawn’
Author’s note: In this article, “queer” is used as an umbrella term for people with a range of genders and sexual orientations who are not cisgender, or cis -- a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth -- or straight. In this way, a word that historically was used against LGBTQ people has been reclaimed by us. Instilling a sense of pride in our children is a responsibility many parents work to fulfill. For our family, in which my wife and I both identify as queer, that includes our children being proud of their queer trans … [Read more...]
Raising Children to Appreciate Diverse World Takes Parental Guidance
My child and I recently walked by a black woman dressed, head to toe, in purple. Several layers of purple actually, including a purple Red Sox hat. She stood out. My 2-year-old says the word “purple” a moment later and I agree with his observation. “She was wearing a lot of purple,” I say. And then I wait to see if there are any other questions or observations, but none followed. We keep walking and I’m thinking about how in the future the conversation will likely go past just the word “purple” and lead into questions around other differences he observed. Discussing racial differences, … [Read more...]
Boys Playing with Dolls Helps Prepare Them to be Nurturing Fathers
Scrolling through my Facebook feed the other day, I found a post that made me both incensed and sad: Today my 7 yr old nephew was bullied by an adult male member of our family because he has a baby doll. He was called a freak, snide remarks were said to his face, and he was asked how many times he has been in first grade. He was made to feel like he was somehow less of a boy and human being because he has a doll ... All on the morning after we had to put down our family dog. The Christmas before he got his baby sister, my ALL-BOY rough & tumble, monster truck loving, camo wearing, … [Read more...]
Like Father, Like Son Even When a Donor is Involved
I'm generally open about being a transgender man even if most people assume I'm a cisgender man (meaning I was born male). I'm often seen as a gay man. This is fine with me since I identify as queer, but it confuses people when they learn I'm married to a woman. One situation where this confusion comes up, but is rarely discussed aloud, takes place when I am out alone with my son. On a good day, I'm 5-foot, 5-inches tall. My 22-month-old is the size of most 3-year-olds. Since I'm a work-at-home dad, I'm often the only parent people encounter when I take him to a class or the playground. … [Read more...]