Does being “for” something automatically define you as being “against” something else? Can we celebrate and work toward a win for one group without having to subsequently celebrate another’s loss or misfortune? I regularly face these questions because I run a podcast and platform called, Black Fathers, NOW! When the conversation comes up regarding my podcast, especially outside of the black community, typically one of two things happens. Sometimes I gain immediate buy in and support for taking this initiative to try to change the public perception of black fatherhood as it tends to be … [Read more...]
Apology Holds Power to be Greatest Gift to Our Children, Society
A few weeks ago, my eldest child did something that made me quite upset. But to be honest, looking back on it now, I cannot even remember exactly what it was. As parents, we have to discipline our kids on a regular basis to varying degrees so keeping track of every occurrence could take up this whole article. But I do know he did something that made me mad enough to stop doing the dishes, call him into the kitchen and angrily reprimand him. I didn’t even see the incident. I just overheard him “arguing” with my wife in the other room, essentially defending something wrong he had done. … [Read more...]
Mixed Gender Sleepovers: Cause for Scandal or Celebration of Diversity
My oldest is now 10. Last year, or maybe it was two years ago, he went to a sleepover birthday party as kids do. At the time, I didn't think anything of the fact that he was the only boy on the invite list. After the party ended, I forgot it had even happened. I was at another party a few months ago where the topic was "that party with the boy sleeping over." The parents were sagely nodding to each other, relieved that one girl just went for the movie and didn’t sleep over. According to the group wisdom, her parents had done well. "Uh, yeah," I finally said. "That one boy there was my … [Read more...]
Pay Attention: Life’s Best Stories Found Around the Diamond’s Edges
I remember being extra fidgety one Sunday morning while sitting in the stark white Presbyterian church of my childhood. I used to bounce my leg a lot when I was littler -- something one of my own sons does now -- and my dad would pinch my knee between his thumb and forefinger to stop. This particular Sunday, my dad had done this a few times, each with increasing pressure. It was an autumn day and the Cincinnati Reds -- the legendary Big Red Machine of the 1970s -- were in baseball’s playoffs once again, and I was distracted. I really didn’t want to be there. Finally, my dad had to … [Read more...]
Dads Modeling Good Male Behavior Can Improve Their Kids’ Future
“There he is. Over there. In the shadows. On a bench. He’s wearing a knit hat. His beard is a little haggard. Maybe he hasn’t slept in a while, or maybe, just maybe he’s some sort of bearded creeper. He’s just hanging out in a park, surrounded by kids and staring. He’s the only male here. Is he a dad? I haven’t seen him with any kids. He’s just sitting there. Watching the kids play. Something’s off. Oh, no. He made eye contact with me. Is he smiling at me? What’s his deal!?” As a house husband, I’m often the one taking the kids to the park, or gymnastics, or school, or dance. You name it. … [Read more...]
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