EDITOR’S NOTE: Being a good parent at times takes superhero skills. To help you develop your own, “The Relational Book for Parenting” authors Saliha Bava and Mark Greene offer advice. Go here to read more in this exclusive periodic series for City Dads Group. Want your partner or child to really feel seen and heard? Then learn to be aware of and consider context during your interactions. This is a relationship super power. From the Latin contextus, context means “weave together.” Context can come from an obvious big life event, such as an illness or a new baby, but it is also … [Read more...]
Why My Daughter Has Her Mother’s Last Name Instead of Mine
My daughter is Isabella Gutierrez Marcelino. My last name is Gutierrez – but that’s actually my daughter’s middle name. We gave her my wife’s last name – Marcelino. I’m not ashamed of my family's name. I’m proud to be a Gutierrez. The name is always a reminder of my dad, my hero, who still works day and night to ensure the people he loves are always taken care of. As Stef and I started family planning, I was at a crossroads. Why is it that we value one last name over the other? When I knew we were having a girl, I began to think about why my daughter should automatically just come … [Read more...]
Not Collapsing into Other’s Emotions Shows, Builds Courage in Kids
EDITOR’S NOTE: Being a good parent at times takes superhero skills. To help you develop your own, “The Relational Book for Parenting” authors Saliha Bava and Mark Greene offer advice. Go here to read more in this exclusive periodic series for City Dads Group. We previously wrote about the power of listening with curiosity. As we get into additional relationship super powers, we'll refer back to previous ones and show how all interconnect and interrelate. Growing these relationship super powers, what we sometimes call our “relational intelligence,” provides us with a web of capacities we … [Read more...]
Endings in Parenting Story Often More Bittersweet, Sad than Happy
I’m older now. I sense finality more. Last ballgames, the last time they need your help on the sledding hill or on their bikes or getting dressed or tying shoes.
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Do you know Shel Silverstein? It doesn’t matter much, a poet – any artist, really - is only showing you what you already know. Does this line sound familiar? “Once there was a tree … and she loved a boy.” Yes, The Giving Tree. I have a weird and long history with his work. I first encountered him in my youth in the 1970s in Playboy magazine, which, at the time I was reading for the … [Read more...]Listening with Curiosity Builds Relationships for Parents, Kids
EDITOR’S NOTE: Being a good parent at times takes superhero skills. To help you develop your own, “The Relational Book for Parenting” authors Saliha Bava and Mark Greene offer advice. Go here to read more in this exclusive periodic series for City Dads Group.
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We all need to confront the many damaging narratives about parenting. One of the most challenging is the relentless drumbeat of others telling us to “enjoy them while they’re little.” This implies parents are destined for increasing disconnection and conflict with our children as they approach … [Read more...]- 1
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