Andrew Knott

About Andrew Knott

Andrew Knott is a writer from Orlando, Fla., and father of three. He has contributed writing to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Scary Mommy, Weekly Humorist, Fatherly and Huff Post, among others. He also writes on his website, Explorations of Ambiguity. You can follow him on Twitter and Facebook. He is the author of Fatherhood: Dispatches From the Early Years.

5 Reasons Dads Should Take Their Kids on a Solo Road Trip

August 22, 2018 by Andrew Knott Leave a Comment

Earlier this summer, my kids and I embarked on a 600-mile road trip without my wife. Many people thought I was crazy, including, most notably, my wife. As is almost always the case, she was right.

The drive from our home in Florida to North Carolina was a grind and the fact that we had to turn around and do it all over again in just a few days was downright brutal. The in-between part while we were on what some might call a "vacation" wasn’t exactly a walk in the park either, although … [Read more...]

Filed Under: travel Tagged With: cars, humor

Parenting Sick Kids: The Art of Juggling (Vomit) Bowls Atop a Unicycle

May 16, 2018 by Andrew Knott Leave a Comment

An acrobat known as Red Panda has been a staple of basketball halftime shows across the country for more than 20 years. I once saw her in person at an NBA game years before I had children. I was stunned by her simple in concept, yet seemingly impossible in practice, act. In short, she rides a very tall unicycle, places an increasing numbers of bowls onto her foot and leg, flips the bowls into the air, and catches them in a stack on her head. She never stops peddling her unicycle and she rarely ever drops a bowl. Her performances are mesmerizing. But because I was a single, child-free … [Read more...]

Filed Under: at-home parenting, health Tagged With: humor

Loitering, or the Awkward Art of Spending Quality Time with Your Kids

March 28, 2018 by Andrew Knott 2 Comments

I’m always looking for fun activities to do with the kids after school and on weekends. It can be difficult, though, because it’s hard to come up with things a 1-, 3-, and 6-year-old will all enjoy. My wife was out of town for a few days recently and, suddenly, the need for fun (time-killing) activities felt even more urgent. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been a stay-at-home father for more than six years so I’m as equipped as anyone to solo parent for a few days, but really, no one is suitably equipped for this. To make matters worse, my 6-year-old has gotten really interested in Minecraft … [Read more...]

Filed Under: humor, play Tagged With: humor

The Vanishing Illusion of Safety in Wake of Yet Another School Shooting

February 28, 2018 by Andrew Knott Leave a Comment

She clings to the green monkey bar on our backyard play set with her little fingers. The nail on her right index finger is an angry purple-blue. The scar from a lost battle with the small iron trap door in the ground by our mailbox that conceals our water meter, which is as endlessly fascinating to a 1-year-old as it is hazardous to appendages. I stand below the bars, my hands resting on her hips. She presses the souls of her pink and black sneakers against my chest, smiles her heart-melting smile, and giggles as she pushes herself up. Her waist at bar level, leaning forward to peak over … [Read more...]

Filed Under: death, events, safety Tagged With: guns, school shooting