You know who really falls for autumn dad jokes? A-parent-ly, you!
Don’t worry, they get better.
Ha! Of course, they don’t! Did you really fall for that? You really are a fall guy!
Since you’ve loved our summer dad jokes (the Halloween and Thanksgiving ones, too) we felt a duty to dive deep into the internet to find some of the best (and mostly, the worst) autumn dad jokes out there.
So if kid-friendly puns about gourds and trees are your thing, look no further than below. If they aren’t, then leaf us alone!
Best / worst autumn dad jokes
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Q: Why did the robot couple insist on being married in the fall?
A: They wanted to be fully autumn-mated.
Q: How did the tree get a new job?
A: He had the right qua-leaf-ications.
Mom: Autumn is better than summer.
Dad: Nope, that’s a fall-acy.
Q: Why did the tree have to go to work every day this fall?
A: Because he couldn’t get any autumn leaves.
Q: What did the blades of grass say to the tree at the start of autumn?
A: “Please don’t leaf us again!”
+ + +
The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best.
Winter says, “Snow is so beautiful, and you can build snowmen. Don’t forget Christmas! Everyone loves Christmas!”
Spring laughs. “Sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers and blooms — it can’t get much better than that!”
Summer laughs even harder. “Yes, but I am undoubtedly the overall best season! No school, beach vacations, ice cream, nice weather. You can’t top that! What about you autumn, what do you have to offer?”
+ + +
Q: Why did the pumpkin lose the boxing match?
A: He let his gourd down.
Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?
A: The crossing gourd.
Q: How do leaves travel from town to town?
A: With autumn-mobiles.
Q: What’s the ratio of an orange gourd’s circumference to its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.
Q: What does a farmer wear under his shirt when the autumn weather turns chilly?
A: A har-vest.
Q: What’s the best way to fix a broken pumpkin?
A: Us a pumpkin patch!
Q: What’s James Bond’s favorite hot drink?
A: Pumpkin spy-ce latte
Q: Why’s it so easy to play practical jokes on leaves in autumn?
A: They fall for anything
+ + +
The mob boss had four henchmen: Winter, Summer, Spring and Autumn. The boss called them into a meeting before a heist.
“Winter,” he began. “I need you to stay cool in the face of pressure. Ice in your veins,” he said, patting his shoulder.
“Then there’s you, Summer,” he said. “If the heat becomes too much for Winter, use that hot temper of yours to make sure the cops remember who they’re working for.”
“As for you, Spring,” he laughed, “This operation is gonna bring in a lotta green. Make sure that it keeps growing.”
He turned for the door as Autumn stood up.
“Boss!” he sputtered. “What about me?”
The boss turned back, shaking his head.
“Sorry, Autumn. You’re just the fall guy.”
+ + +
Q: What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?
A: You’ll get autumn’y ache.
Q: Why did the pumpkin and the butternut squash get on so well?
A: They were gourd friends.
Q: Why did no one laugh at the oak tree?
A: He kept telling acorn-y jokes
Q: What’s a fire’s least favorite month?
Q: What is the cutest season?
Q: What’s red, orange and yellow and doesn’t get hurt when it falls?
A: Autumn leaves!
Q: How are you supposed to talk in the apple library?
A: With your incider voice.
Q: What do you get if you drop a pumpkin?
Q: What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of autumn?
A: In disbe-leaf.
Q: Did you hear about the tree that had to take a break in autumn?
A: It was on a paid leaf.
Q: What’s a tree’s least favorite month of the year?
Q: When winter arrives, what happens?
A: Autumn leaves!
Best autumn dad jokes photo: © Javier brosch / Adobe Stock.
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