You’re a New Yorker expecting a child. You’re a mess. Your life will never be the same.
But don’t worry. We NYC Dads have been there, and we’ll tell you the unexpected things that will happen in your future.
1. You Will Not See Many Friends For Several Years
Bad news first. You’re not going to keep all of your friends.
Some will stay in your life. Some won’t. Some you’ll miss. Others you won’t.
2. You’ll Move to a Bigger Place
We know you love that one bedroom in the Village, but you will need more space. Period.
Hello, Outer Boroughs!
3. You Will Not Sleep
You can’t soft pedal this. Babies sleep for 3 or 4 hours and then you have to change and feed them.
You will be The Walking Dead.
4. Never-ending Laundry
Yes, you just did laundry yesterday. Yes, the baby goes through clothes that fast.
No, you don’t have a choice.
5. No Amount of Cheerios Equals Too Many Cheerios*
You might think there are too many Cheerios in your life when you find you’re sleeping on the ones you didn’t know were in your bed. You’d be wrong. Cheerios can save your sanity.
*Also applies to Goldfish crackers.
6. You Will Hate Kids’ Music
Once you start listening to kids’ music you will never again know peace. It gets into your head and stays there. Forever. And ever. This includes theme songs for children’s shows.
7. Family and Friends Will Mean Much More
Family and friends who stay in your life deserve your love, loyalty and respect. Friends who come into your life while you are a dad are valuable.
Meeting new friends as a New York Dad is tough. But this very site can help you with that. Check our meetup events. There will be something for you somewhere and sometime.
We didn’t believe such a small person could make such a big mess either. Brace yourself.
9. Your Parents Were Right About Everything
And this is even more mind-blowing once you realize they had no instructions for parenting.
Which leads us to…
10. There are No Instructions for Parenting
You can buy books and take advice and whatever else, but what works for one kid won’t for all. Everyone will give you advice and it will be conflicting. You will have to sort out what works best for you and ignore the rest.
11. Nothing Grosses You Out Anymore
Disgusting messes are in your future and, take heart in the knowledge that within a couple weeks, you’ll be able to handle absolutely anything.
12. Your Home Now Really Feels Like “Home”
Even something as mundane as drinking water becomes a special event when you are teaching your child how to do it.
13. New York City is Brand New Again
New Yorkers constantly take one thing for granted: New York City. We live in an amazing place, populated with wonders and diversity. Fireworks! Parades! Festivals! New Year’s Eve!
Seeing New York’s myriads of miracles for the first time again through your child’s eyes will leave you breathless.
14. More Messes
Messes are going to happen all the time. All the time.
So expect there will be many messes. All the time.
15. Commercials Make You Cry
Becoming a parent puts you deeply in touch with an empathy you may not have realized you had before. Everything now affects you. Deeply.
16. You Appreciate Gifts So Much More
You’re now used to putting others’ needs and desires ahead of yourself, so when you get a gift or card, they mean much more.
17. Alcohol Tolerance? What Alcohol Tolerance?
By the time you go out drinking again, your tolerance will be way down. As in completely gone.
No, it won’t matter how much you partied in your previous life. This will lead to the…
18. Worst. Hangovers. EVER.
Everything hurts and you feel sick and you want to die. AND the baby is crying.
AND you only drank one beer.
19. Naps Are Wonderful
OK, seriously, though. What was I fighting all these years?
20. New York City (and its Dads) Will Have Your Back
You aren’t on your own in New York City. Somewhere, somehow, there is something or someone to help you. You don’t get this in every state.
If your child happens to need extra therapy for, say, being on the spectrum for autism, you can get experts to visit your home to help, and can arrange buses to take them to schools to help them adjust. If you need more help, call 311 for valuable information.
Bookmark this site. We can help ease the burden.
(Not from New York? Go HERE and select the Find Your City drop down menu.)
21. Fashion Loses Some Importance
As the great philosopher Jennifer Lawrence said; “If I don’t have to do anything all day, I might not even put my pants on.”
This will apply to new dads even while dealing with a full day of responsibilities. But please do put something on before you go outside.
22. Expect Even More Messes
Have we mentioned this yet?
23. The News Makes You Cringe
War. Natural disaster. President Trump. It’s all bad.
But it’s the local stories that will really horrify you, especially if it involves child endangerment. Expect human interest stories that will stab you through the heart.
24. You’re Going to be Sick. A Lot.
Think of your kid as a petri dish. They’re going to catch every bug out there, especially once they start going to daycare and/or pre-school. Don’t worry, they’ll shake it off after a day or two, but you’re going to get your ass kicked. Badly. Here’s some preventative measures to lower your risk.
And for God’s sake, get your kids vaccinated!
25. Your Courage Will Grow …
You may think you are non-confrontational. Not any more. If your child even seems to be in the slightest bit of danger you will face down and beat the combined armies of the world.
Your protective instincts will not only serve your child, they’ll boost you as well.
26. … Almost as Big as Your Heart Will
So what unexpected things will happen while you’re expecting? The most valuable experience of your life. While you were single, you may have only grown as a person by inches every year. Once your child arrives, you will grow by miles as a person every day.
What can you expect when you’re expecting? Love. Yes, expect your life will change. Because you’re no longer at the center of it. Your life is no longer just your own. And that’s a beautiful thing.
And if you live in New York, you’re in the best possible place for this.